Their End of the Bargain: Difference between revisions
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{{h| | {{h|Christian|image=Christian 2|0=}}: I swear... these natives only know two things: how to start a war and how to throw a party. Apparantly, the natives I just defeated want me off the island as much as I want off. One condition, I must reclaim the lands I just took from them. Ugh. The stench. | ||
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Revision as of 03:40, 12 February 2024
Their End of the Bargain | |||||||||||
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To win, Sir Christian must defeat all the enemies. He now has an allied town, which lies, in the northwestern region. He is limited to level 16 in this scenario, but he will carry over his skills, spells, secondary skills and experience to the next scenario. | |||||||||||
Victory condition: Defeat All Enemies |
Loss condition: Lose Hero | ||||||||||
Allies: | Enemies: | ||||||||||
Choose a bonus: |
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Carried to next scenario: ChristianChristian |
Max level: 16 |
Prologue
ChristianChristian Christian: I swear... these natives only know two things: how to start a war and how to throw a party. Apparantly, the natives I just defeated want me off the island as much as I want off. One condition, I must reclaim the lands I just took from them. Ugh. The stench.
Scenario
Timed events
Day 1 - Intro 1 |
The natives were so happy at Sir Christian's success that they completely forgot about the agreement to help him in return. The days and nights of celebration turned into weeks of endless parties. When Sir Christian reminded them of their end of the bargain they laughed and suggested that he kiss the south end of a northbound donkey. Leaving the celebrating natives behind, Sir Christian traveled to a tavern to drink his homesickness into oblivion. As he sat at the bar staring at the dregs of his New World Lager Lite, he suddenly felt a knife at his throat. "Turn around, slowly." He turned and looked into the face of the defeated leader of the northern towns. Sir Christian thought as quickly as he could in his inebriated state. "Can we talk?" he asked. The leader and his troops sat with Sir Christian as he explained the situation. They were suspicious, but they all agreed that Sir Christian was too dangerous to have on the island. After a long and heated discussion and a lot of drinking a bargain was struck. If Sir Christian agreed to accept a mission to kill off those pesky natives down south, they would gladly help him in getting back home. To protect himself from another possible betrayal, Sir Christian staggered to his feet and demanded a treaty signed in blood by the leaders and himself. |
(55, 65, 0) Stronghold: Day 1 - Day 39 |
Day 4 - Day 4 |
As you are traveling to your new quarters you sort out your thoughts and strategies as to how, exactly, you will complete your new quest. This trip is also giving your body a chance to heal from all the bumps and bruises you've acquired from previous battles and bar brawls (not to mention the headache that you will get from drinking that entire bottle of Redwood Pale Ale). You dig into your backpack and take out the bottle. The label reads: REDWOOD PALE ALE While riding you suddenly hop off of your horse, run into the bushes and spill your oats (and barley and hops.) Your whole life passes before your eyes and you swear on your grandfather's grave that you'll never do this again. "Quantity is our middle name." "No wonder it was on sale." you think to yourself. |
Day 15 - Day 15 send out spies |
Your advisor suggests that you send out spies to gather information from behind the enemy lines. You agree and order four of your troops to go and get all the information they could about the enemy and return in five days. |
Day 20 - Spies return |
Your valiant spies have returned! A very noxious stench fills your nostrils. The stench worsens as you get closer to them. Their matted hair and tattered clothing make you think twice about the credibility of your troops. One of them staggers forward to speak. "Sir. We, your valiant spies, have returned...BURP!" He staggers back into his ranks and starts to pick something foul out of his ear. "You reek of New World Stout Longneck, vintage 1087!" You shout. "Sir. Ya certainly know your ales, sir," the spy slurs, obviously impressed. He belches loudly. The other spy speaks up next. "Uh...The enemies are building their towns and...uh...their troops as fast as possible sir...HIC!" "Oh. So go ahead and tell us something we don't know, you vomitus hairballs!" you scream. The spies fall over, bellowing with laughter, as you stomp away in a fit of rage saying to yourself, "Next time I'll call on Rent-A-Spy." |
Day 29 - Day 29 |
It is another blazing hot day. You and your troops are beyond exhaustion. You stop and sit down to take a load off. Suddenly two gorgeous, scantily clad women wearing little more than chainmail bodices approach and hand you a 12 pack of New World Genuine Draft Ale. You quickly look at the bottom of the bottle to be sure the ale is, in fact, fit to drink. You look back at the young ladies. On of the women winks at you, touches your lips with her finger, then touches her own lips. They turn and walk away. You have never seen such a beautiful sight. Your hands become clammy and you experience a feeling that you have never felt before. "This must be love!" you shout. You then pop open the bottle and suddenly a strong breeze blows from the north. You take a drink. It is fresh, clean and has no aftertaste. The winds grow stronger and it begins to snow. "This is too much." You again shout, "I must be in love! Or this one fine ale!" You pass around the rest of the NWGD to your troops. |
Day 38 - Pick up? |
You spot a young female warrior facing away from you. It looks like she is repairing her battle armor. Entranced by her beauty, you try desperately to think of a way to impress her. Since reading "How to Pick Up Female Warriors" at the tavern library corner last week, you feel suave and confident. You saunter up to her and try one of the "never-fail" lines from the book. "Didn't we meet last year at the Psychus Town slaughtering?" She does not respond. Maybe she didn't hear you. The strong wind in the trees is rather loud. You didn't like that line any way. You think of another one that's sure to capture her heart. You draw closer so you know she'll hear you. You speak. "Every second of every hour of every day is like a thousand knives of fire stabbing me in the heart. I long for thee incessantly; so much that mine sorrow seems without surcease. My alliteration is small comfort next to the warm gaze of thine azure eyes. I crave the comfort of thine embrace like some lost child cold and alone in the dark." Again nothing. It is as if you're not even speaking. You tap her on the shoulder. She suddenly jumps to her feet with a dagger in her hand. "Can I help you?" she asks abruptly. " Greeting miss, My name is Sir..." "What?" she interrupts. "My name is..." "What? I can't hear you," she says louder than before. You shout "MY NAME IS SIR...." "Just a minute!" Again, she interrupts you. She reaches up and pulls something out of her ears. "Sorry. I wear these earplugs to keep the nasty bugs out of my ears. So, what were you saying? You stand there and just stare at her amazing beauty while panicking about to say you try desperately to think of another one of those great lines from that book. "How about going out with a guy who doesn't have the plague for a change?" She folds her arms and glares at you. You start blushing and become uneasy. In a last ditch effort to strike up conversation you try another one. "Uh...Want some jerky?" "You Pervert! I'll have you know that I want nothing to do with your sick fantasies!" She walks up to you and slaps you across the face, gets on her horse and rides away. |
Objects
Events
Location | Message |
---|---|
5, 51, 0 | A decrepit old man with a walking cane approaches you. You stop and greet the old gentleman. He looks you dead in the eye and says, "Your mother never told you. She never told you the truth about your father! I am your father." Shocked, you look at the old man in disbelief. "Do I have a twin sister?" you ask. He just stares at you and says, "Take this." He hands you something loosely in his cloak and then disappears." |
27, 31, 0 | A young knight stops you in his tracks. "HALT!" he shouts. "You mustn't go any further. Don't you see? If you go that way," he points, "You're off the deep end of your rocker and if you go that way" He points the other way, "Your grappling hook don't reach the top battlement if you go that way! You'd be crazy to go so turn back now! GO! GO!" You laugh at the young man in and carry on. While passing him, you throw him a few gold coins and thank him for the melodramatic moment and suggest that he audition for that Shakespeare fellow. |
27, 49, 0 | You stop suddenly. "Everything well, sir?" asks one of your advisors. "You have no idea what I just stepped in," You reply back. |
29, 10, 0 | You can hardly believe your eyes. There stands a dendroid feeding a large bonfire from a stack of branches. "Are you cold, sir, uh...?" you ask. "No, I'm not cold, you odd little fleshy thing! I'm destroying a bane to all dendroids, a very curse upon creation!" says the dendroid. He turns to you abruptly. "Have you ever been married?" "Well, actually, no I haven't" you answer. "Oh, well I guess you wouldn't understand about mothers-in-law then." The dendroid begins to add more wood to the fire. He invites you over for dry roasted pine nuts and you contribute a bottle of New World Stout Ale. |
29, 30, 0 | |
32, 27, 0 | You hear a sudden rustling in the bushes nearby. Hushed, you and your troops hit the ground. All is silent for a few moments as you look around cautiously. Suddenly, a rock flies through the air and hits you square in the noggin, knocking you unconscious. An hour passes by before you come to. You find a note tied to the rock. "We are watching your every move. You AND your little troops, too! We have a wonderful new capitol, and we can live quite happily there for some time...So whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit! P.S. Watch out for, well, falling rocks." |
32, 55, 0 | As you approach the town entrance, you overhear two maidens gossiping. "Have you ever seen Sir Christian? He's so dreamy!" One of them asks, giddily. Are you crazy? He washes his body. That's no unnatural. Not like the real men around here." the other maiden replies. "He is a crude beast. A beast that slouches in the shape of a man. He is remarkably unattractive. You like him?" Yes, you're right," the first maiden says while laughing. Both of them giggle and walk off. You gather your broken ego and carry it away. |
38, 16, 0 | While traveling through a wood your horse stumbles across a small wooden box. You dismount and pick it up to see what might be in it. You pry open the box and much to everyone's surprise you pull out a six pack of New World Lager long neck bottles. You pass them around. |
40, 32, 0 | You have found new confidence in yourself after meeting with your new allies. You finish off your last bottle of New World Dark Ale and began the journey to your new home-away-from-home, from which you will destroy all that you have just built for your old so-called allies. |
47, 19, 0 | "Stop!" Groups of lizardmen emerge from the trees and completely surround you. One of them speaks. "Well, well, well. Do me a favor and walk over to me." (Insert dramatic pause here.) "So you can remember what it's like to walk for the last time." |
48, 33, 0 | A merchant approaches you in a panic. "Run Sir! Run for your life! The natives from the south approach quickly. You must get to your station now and prepare for war! Take this!' He gives you a green clover. "This will give you lu..." From out of nowhere a flying arrow lands in a tree right in between the merchant and you. Tied to the arrow is a note that reads: "BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID." |
48, 63, 0 | "Ooohhh scary" you laugh. "It's about time they build up some defense. Of course they couldn't do that when I ruled the roost." You think to yourself. "But I seem to remember another way around that I'm quite sure these fools, judging by their intellect, or lack thereof, wouldn't have thought to guard." Feeling very full of yourself you bask in you self-proclaimed heroism. Suddenly a sharp object pokes you in the back. "I don't mean to burst your bubble, sir, but can we get on with this?" one of your troops asks. "I got the wife and a cold ale waiting." |
64, 16, 0 | You look out to sea and daydream about home. Suddenly, something in the rocks catches your eye. You bend over to pick up a small cylindrical package wrapped in a stained piece of parchment. You notice a tab that reads "tug here" and so you do. Carefully you unwrap the parchment. |
Towns
Location | Color | Type |
---|---|---|
6, 23, 0 | Stronghold | |
33, 54, 0 | Stronghold | |
42, 20, 0 | Fortress | |
55, 65, 0 | Stronghold | |
62, 12, 0 | Stronghold |
Heroes
Location | Color | Hero |
---|---|---|
6, 24, 0 | Oris the Battle Mage | |
33, 55, 0 | Gundula the Battle Mage | |
39, 30, 0 | ChristianChristian Christian the Knight | |
42, 21, 0 | Alkin the Beastmaster | |
54, 66, 0 | Jabarkas the Barbarian |
Monsters
Location | Type | Message |
---|---|---|
30, 22, 0 | Hobgoblin | "You killed my brother. Prepare to die." |
Artifacts
Location | Type | Message |
---|---|---|
41, 26, 0 | Orb of Tempestuous Fire | |
57, 29, 0 | Spell Scroll with Summon Fire Elemental |
Pandora's Boxes
Location | Message |
---|---|
38, 24, 0 | YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR! |
Seer's Huts
9, 2, 0 - Seer's Hut |
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Proposal Message |
Completion Message |
14, 16, 0 - Seer's Hut |
Proposal Message |
Completion Message |
17, 6, 0 - Seer's Hut |
Proposal Message |
Completion Message |
40, 34, 0 - Seer's Hut |
51, 51, 0 - Seer's Hut |
Proposal Message |
Completion Message |
63, 51, 0 - Seer's Hut |
Proposal Message |
Completion Message |
64, 31, 0 - Seer's Hut |
Proposal Message |
Completion Message |
64, 58, 0 - Seer's Hut |
Proposal Message |
Completion Message |
Quest Guards
36, 46, 0 - Quest Guard |
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Proposal Message |
Signs
Location | Message |
---|---|
7, 10, 0 | Muscle Beach II was here. |
10, 2, 0 | Muscle Beach I |
10, 50, 0 | Zuma III |
13, 58, 0 | Zuma IV was here. |
15, 16, 0 | Muscle Beach IV |
17, 44, 0 | Zuma II |
18, 6, 0 | Muscle Beach III |
21, 38, 0 | Zuma I |
24, 63, 0 | Zuma V was here. |
29, 59, 0 | Beware of Area 51. |
39, 39, 0 | Venice II |
41, 34, 0 | Venice I |
48, 60, 0 | Malibu II was here. |
50, 37, 0 | Venice III was here. |
52, 51, 0 | Malibu I |
57, 68, 0 | Malibu III was here. |
63, 27, 0 | Waikiki II was here. |
64, 51, 0 | Malibu V |
65, 31, 0 | Waikiki I |
65, 58, 0 | Malibu IV |